I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
