he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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