you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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