You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
