OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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