I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
