My friends, they love my intelligence
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
