no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
