I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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