o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize