I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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