It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Randomize
