i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
