Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
