He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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