If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
