at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
