Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
