it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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