well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
