It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
