Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
