Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
