It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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