it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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