Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just had sex bonerless
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
