last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
