If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
