i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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