My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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