So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
