just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
my liver is dry heaving
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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