Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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