oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
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