there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
