there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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