do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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