She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
