your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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