went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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