you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
