I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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