I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
