You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
