You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
