should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
