what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
