I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
