There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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