ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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