What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
