Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
