yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
