YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
